That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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