no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize