fuck your aforementioned shoe
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize