I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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