im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched a dick in church today
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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