Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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