The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize