Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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