I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize