Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize