I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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