I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
ttyl tear gas
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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