We're facebook friends in real life
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize