So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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