The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My balls are so social today.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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