Whod you bang
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize