I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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