Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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