Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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