we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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