this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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