I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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