Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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