I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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