while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
its liver damage thursday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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