This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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