overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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