thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize