Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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