your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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