why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
don't judge my taste in strippers
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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