yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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