very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize