im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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