For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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