You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize