wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize