Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize