I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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