She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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