Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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