Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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