im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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