I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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