Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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