i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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