apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
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I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
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Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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