That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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