Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
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The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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