D3 body, D1 cock
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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