Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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